When you’re angry or resentful, you are in emotional and mental prison. Honesty it is that dramatic. Think about it for a minute. When you’re mad at someone or resent something they did or said, who is the one who gets upset or stressed over it? You do. That’s ok right? We all have feelings. It’s ok to be hurt or mad, but you need to be careful how long you hang on to this.
It is very important for you to let go and stop resentments from building up. This is how to let go of anger and resentments and free yourself emotionally.
I remember the first time I was faced with having to deal with a resentment. I was harboring resentment for someone for years. A friend of mine said to me “What do you think the other person is doing now?, do you think you are even on their mind?” This infuriated me. I was spending all my time and anger on this person about some things that had happened years ago. Someone that I wouldn’t have been friends with if I knew any better at the time. I realized that this person was renting space in my head and I was pretty sure I wasn’t even crossing their mind.
We can get so angry sometimes and resentful and honestly it doesn’t change a thing. The outcome stays the same.
Accept the Things you Cannot Change
This is the first step to letting go. If you truly realize that no matter what you do, you can’t change the outcome. Only then will you accept it and move on. You can’t change the way people think or act. Sometimes you may be able to persuade them a little, but either way it’s still not accepting a situation. Letting go is feeling something only for as long as you need to and then letting go of it. Especially if it’s stressful or resentful.
Remember you don’t have to like something to accept it, but you have to accept it in order to move on.
How to Reclaim your Life
You may be thinking how can a resentment or some anger be taking over my life? If it’s on your mind a lot, or you’re getting angry often, It’s taking over your life, or at least part of it.
- Don’t take things personally – You can be mad at somebody or mad at yourself for letting somebody hurt you. It doesn’t matter anymore. Don’t take responsibility for anyones character defects. You may feel like a victim in all this but the truth is you’re not. Yes you got hurt, but you have learned from this and it’s time to move on.
- Stop caring what people think – We all don’t think the same, everyone is different. This can only lead to anger or resentment, this is why we take things personally. It’s ok to take some advice from people who care about us. Just not the people who don’t. Remember someone might be giving us there opinion based on jealousy or insecurity.
- Forgive – This is a hard one I know, but when we forgive we are freeing ourselves from the emotional and mental anguish that keeps us stuck. If we don’t forgive we can’t forget. You don’t have to forget what a person has done to you as long as you’re learning from it. Just don’t keep playing it over and over in your head. When you forgive you open up your heart to love and kindness instead of anger and resentment.
Time to take Action
Take inventory or write down the people who have hurt you, or if you hurt them. Make amends to them, or confront them if they hurt you. If it’s not possible then you need to forgive yourself or the other person.
Moving forward, remember you don’t have to like everyone and in return not everyone has to like you. You need to be ok with this. As long as you like you. It’s easier to forgive and move on if you have self-confidence and self-respect. It stops you from always beating yourself up.
You are gonna make mistakes. You are human. When you do forgive yourself.
Other people are gonna make mistakes. Forgive them. Maybe it was a mistake or maybe it was done maliciously. Don’t let somebody rent space in your head over their mistakes or insecurities.
Be Happy and Free
You can never be happy holding on to a resentment. If you’re always angry about the past then you’re missing out on the present. “If you have one foot in yesterday and the other foot in tomorrow, you’re pissing all over today”
No matter how someone has hurt you, or if you hurt them. Forgiveness will free you from the past.
Stay away from negative people. It’s hard to change if you’re around negative people or angry people. People, places and things are very important when it comes to change.
Remember if you keep hanging around the barber shop, eventually your gonna get a haircut.
I hope this article was helpful. If you have any questions or comments please leave them down below.
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