Relationships can be very difficult to get over. Especially intimate ones. When we get into a relationship we potentially set ourselves up to become vulnerable.
Essentially we are giving our emotional trust over to another person in hopes that they will respect it and treat it in a loving and nurturing way.
Breakups can be a result of your decision, your partners or a mutual breakup. Either way it can have a very painful effect on you emotionally, mentally and even physically. I am a firm believer that the healthier relationship you have with yourself, the healthier relationship you’re going to be in with someone else. The same can be said about what kind of people you attract, and what kind of people are attracted to you emotionally. Remember we can’t give away what we don’t all ready have inside.
So you just lost our partner what do we do now? Let’s walk through some steps you can take in order to start feeling better and moving on. How to Deal With Stress Over a Breakup? here is how!!
Accepting That It Is Over
If it’s over then it’s over. For what ever reason the relationship didn’t work out. I’m sorry for that but maybe it’s for the best. That’s the cold reality of it all. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. You would be reading something like how to get back together with my partner. Even if it’s not your fault and you’re the victim in all this, you still need to move on and there is no other way to do it but through acceptance.
Remember we don’t have to like something to accept it, but we have to truly accept it without any justification or rationalization. You are in a vulnerable state right now and it can be easy to go back, or ask your partner to come back. This is not true acceptance. You can’t move past nothing until you truly accept it.
This is so important. I know it’s hard to trust after being hurt, but if you don’t talk about your feelings and continue to hold them in, then you will never heal emotionally and run the risk of depression and anxiety. This is a difficult kind of hurt I know, I have been through it. Do you ever recall a time in your life where you were in such pain and there was a moment of distraction that took your mind off it? Maybe it was a cute baby that made you smile or perhaps you were sharing a good or bad-time that you and your ex had in the past and by the time you were finished sharing you were laughing?
It doesn’t matter, if you’re laughing about how good something was or how crazy and messed up it was. The important thing is you were sharing. Find someone you trust and talk about what’s going on inside. Don’t let one person who lost your trust determine your trust in humanity. Reach out to your support network.
Live and Learn
We all make mistakes. It’s not everyday we fall in love and stay together with our first partner. Learn from what didn’t work out this time and implement it into your next relationship . It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right at this stage of the game. Maybe you both were just not right for each other?
When we learn from our mistakes, it helps us grow as a person. It shows us what we want and teaches us what we don’t want. Take a personal inventory of some mistakes you might have made. Think of some qualities your ex- partner had that you were not particularly fond of and use them for the next time you’re actively looking and ready to start dating again.
Get on with Life
Start doing things that you love, especially if some of those things were compromised in you’re previous relationship. This will not only cheer you up but it will remind you of who you are. It’s ok to have some bad days just keep pushing forward. Get active, exercise is a great healthy distraction both emotionally, mentally and good for you physically.
Don’t isolate, start doing things with your friends. Go to a movie even if it’s by yourself. Yes that’s right I said by yourself. If you’re gonna get stronger and have healthier relationships, then you have to start having one with yourself first. This is the strongest relationship you will ever have. I don’t recommend this early on. Get some support from friends and family or here at We Stress Less.
Ready to Move on
As soon as you’re feeling better and have truly let go of the last relationship, it’s time to move on and put yourself back out there. Of course this can be a bit scary but just remember, you have more tools to work with now. You have learned from the last or your past relationships, your likes and dislikes, your do’s and don’ts. With this new-found knowledge you can have better insight of what you’re looking for and more importantly what you’re not looking for.
Do not rush. A lot of people jump into relationships to avoid being lonely. Don’t trade companionship in for happiness. It’s temporary and it’s wasting your time.
Just like in the early stages of a breakup remember, “This to Shall Pass” the pain will subside and so will the loneliness. We learn from each relationship and we grow along the way.
To Your Happiness
Everything I share on my website are things I actually have been through. I have had a hard life, but I am so grateful for it. It has made me strong and wise. It is hard to trust someone when you have been hurt especially in the beginning. For me it’s much easier to trust and relate to a person that has been through the same thing. It’s hard to know what you’re talking about and impossible to feel it, if you haven’t been there.
I hope this article helps. I truly wish you all the happiness and healthiness in the world. If you have any questions or comments please leave them in the comments below, along with your e-mail address to be notified when ever I post an article about stress.
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